I decided many years ago that I wanted Old McDonald's Farm, and no farm is complete without geese. I have since been careful what I wished for.

I ventured to the sale barn, a place I know better than visit to buy animals. I was so proud when I purchased my first geese. I thought that was way cool!

When I got home, I put the two geese in my chicken pen with the thought that when they become accustomed to the farm I would let them out during the day to roam the yard. That never happened.

Anyone that has ever been around geese knows they can be mean......no, EVIL! Nobody was willing to go into the chicken pen except me, and I only did it at a dead run. And I NEVER turned my back on those evil geese. I determined it was time to take them back to the sale barn!

I got up early that Saturday morning and had my two boxes ready for those awful things. My two boys were going to be there to help me catch these birds and get them into the boxes. My two teenage boys....my heroes. Yea right.

I got the garden hoe out thinking that I would take the hoe, like a shepherd uses a hook, and gently catch them by the neck. I should have used an ax.

I really had no trouble getting the first goose, until the other one got mad and attacked me. That bird bit the fire out of my leg, leaving one heck of a bruise. In the process of all this ruckus, I kicked at that bird and my boot went flying over the fence into the pasture. Did I mention that it had rained and was muddy out?

At this point I was thinking that my boys, my heroes, would rescue me. There they were, on the OUTSIDE of the pen, busting a gut at the sight of their mother in a rather, shall we say, awkward position. Yes, there I stood, covered in mud, only one boot on, a goose attached to one leg while the other hooked with a garden hoe. Thank God the neighbors didn't drive by!

I got Goose One in her box and then Goose Two (she should have gone on the grill). I then went back in to feed the chickens (still in only one boot), and the dang rooster came after me. All I could hear were those two boys laughing. By now I was in no mood. I caught that rooster in the air by his neck, and he got a box too. All three went to the sale barn that day.

I spent $15 on gas, $2 on a new pair of socks, $3 on a bottle of Tylenol, and only got $5 for all those birds.

We shall never have geese again!