April 4, 2018 at 5:30 p.m.
David Miller: Bud is just wrong about bananas
I have written articles in the Hope Star Journal for years, virtually since Larry Simpson bought the paper. I happily, if not punctually, had columns about events happening at the Hope Library, changes or additions that we were making, and other library news.
That was great. It was a wonderful platform for the library, and I was always grateful to Larry and the Hope Star Journal staff for all of the free space that they gave to the library over the years.
While I intend to use my platform here to still talk about all of those things, I also want to do a little more. I want to be able to write about more than my professional life and the informational news that pertains to it. I want to wear the mantle of 'columnist' with a little more forthrightness.
Being asked to write in this space is certainly an honor, but it is also an obligation. And part of that obligation is to provide content that is interesting and a little more evocative of the town's core values and spirit than informational. In truth, I'm looking forward to this experience.
So here goes nothing...
I am not, by nature, a jealous man. Everyone is given gifts, and everyone is given troubles. My gifts are greater than some, and my troubles are fewer than most. But I start thinking about Bud Herron and David Webster, and gosh, it does start to eat at me. They are beloved by friends and families, respected within their professions, pillars of the community, smart, charming and (I am told) handsome.
Sheesh.
And to top it off, they get to spout off any old opinion that they may have through their respective columns. I'd really like to have what they have, but I'll settle for the spouting off opinions part.
I would like to refute Bud Herron's June 5th, 2014 column in the Hope Star-Journal in which he states that, "bananas are a near perfect match for human beings" among other nonsensical claptrap regarding that deplorable fruit.
Bananas are not great. They're not even good. They are a sort of lowest common denominator among fruit.
Nobody savors a banana. They are convenient, but that's about it. Banana bread is alright, I suppose, but with eggs, sugar, and butter, anything would taste alright.
Also, the Cavendish banana has a long and sordid history of racism and atrocities, which is a long story that Bud clearly was not referencing, so I'll give him a pass there.
For me, I'm an apple guy. Good apples. Crisp, juicy, in season apples. Now that's something to savor. And apple crisp beats banana bread any day of the week.
Or good, sweet strawberries in the spring. And I have been known to get a bit obsessive about cantaloupe as well. Yes, they are messy and inconvenient. But the best things in life always are.[[In-content Ad]]
