Brock Harris: A poet's look at eLearning days

These last few months have been greatly trying and tiresome for many.

Activities we take for granted have to be altered, schedules rethought, and for extended emotional support we have had to look through a computer screen. In taking more time at home, getting projects caught up, and spending more time with my nuclear family, I have felt blessed. As a teacher, one of the easiest gigs when compared to front-line workers and those with jeopardized health issues, I have a different perspective and hope that comes through in the following lines. Be careful out there.

‘Twas a Day of E-learning and all through kids’ houses
devices were whirring, clicked frequent were mouses.
The lessons were emailed by teachers with care,
many without bathing or brushing their hair.

Day just starting, many needing caffeine.
Chaos ensued, thanks to COVID-19.
Zoom meetings and Skype and Google Meet,
digital classrooms with shoeless feet.

Day 49 of managing this mess
caused my poor hairline to even more so recess.
I opened a bottle: Woodford Double Oaked!
mixed in the coffee of this curmudgeonly bloke.

Refreshing my inbox, there pop-upped some notes
I cracked my knuckles. This is what I wrote:
“Now Billy, now Sally,”- no not their real names-
“the way I was greeted was completely lame.”

“When you contact a teacher or someone to respect,
please greet them ‘Good day’ or ‘Hello’…what the heck?
“Your email’s one sentence; do you even take time
to count all these typos in this literary landmine?”

“To address your point, please answer this first:
did you read the directions; I fear that’s the worst?
It’s right there - in paragraph three!
Please stop irking and frustrating me!”

“I’m not there to help you and I really hate that.
But you’ve got to try harder! No e-pat-on-the-back.
So get back to work and take care of your reading.
Take a break from gaming, and posting, and tweeting.”

Can they really sit for that many hours,
so green and whiny as they Internet scour?
Yet here I still sit. Come on 3 o’clock!
Almost made it and no parental aftershock!

But to my dismay, here comes another….
Did Billy or Sally in their work not recover?
Oh dear. Oh my goodness. And, oh brother.
It’s 2:59 cares no helicopter mother:

“Hello Mr. Harris. Hope you’re doing well!
Little Johnny was sad today because his goldfish fell.
Unfortunately, not one assignment is done,
Because I told him to ‘Just go have fun.’”

“I hope that’s okay. He was too scared to ask.
Old Goldy needs fitted for an oxygen mask.”
Hyperbole, yes. Satirical that last part.
But similar are the excuses they attempt to impart.

It’s not really that hard. They know what to do.
They need reassurance and we provide that too.
Some are affected. Just get the job done!
That bright orb in the sky in known as the sun…

So wherever you are and whoever you’re eMeeting,
remember these times are hopefully fleeting.
Also make sure that whatever your “lesson”
your vibe is genial with patience untested.

Yet just as a warning if you see me out there,
I know you mean well but I just don’t care.
“We’re all in this together,” “the normal is new”
are phrases I fear may make me pop you.