My Journey Continues… A Christmas Carol

As I watched (and hummed along to) the movie/musical Spirited the other night, it reminded me of the many reasons why A Christmas Carol is such a favorite story of mine.

Spirited is yet another variation of the Charles Dickens 1843 classic that reminds us of the notion that people are capable of change and the importance of both possessing a spirit of giving and having a sense of compassion for our fellow human beings.

For Dickens’ main character, Ebeneezer Scrooge, it took a visit from his former business partner, Jacob Marley, along with time spent with the ghosts from Christmas past, present and future to come to the realization it was time to change his miserly ways and prickly attitude towards others.

This might be more than a little stretch but revisiting the themes of A Christmas Carol while watching Spirited caused me to think about how my current ongoing bout with cancer could be yet one more variation on the timeless classic.

I’d like not to think of myself as a parallel to Ebeneezer Scrooge. I’m certainly not concerned with the notion of accumulating wealth and keeping it to myself. However, much like Scrooge, there is ample room for self-improvement in some categories to my current being. My guess is the same could be said for many of us…

My life has changed considerably over the past several months. That includes my overall outlook on life and the way I view/consider others. I can’t imagine those things ever going back to the way they were before, nor do I want them to. Perhaps being told of my pancreatic cancer diagnosis served as a “wake-up call” for me – somewhat like being paid a visit from his old business partner, Jacob Marley, did for Mr. Scrooge. I had become more and more guilty over the years for taking far too much for granted. Those people and things for which I should have felt so fortunate for were often overlooked and not given the appreciation and acknowledgement they so deserved. I had become complacent – and perhaps even a little stale – when it came to actively nurturing my relationships with others.

Just as Marley let Scrooge know that he would soon be paid visits by the spirits of Christmas past, present and yet to come, being told of my diagnosis served as an impetus for me. It sparked the beginning of an abundance of reflection regarding my past, present and future. There’s something very sobering about being told you have 12-18 months to live (no longer accurate) and that it is time to “get your affairs in order.” Just as Scrooge was given a “sneak preview” of his own death and final resting spot here on Earth, I had visions of such things myself.

That news almost immediately returned me to my “ghost of Christmas’ past.” Being faced with impending mortality led me to take an inventory of my life. As Scrooge was moved to tears when he revisited scenes from his childhood and earlier years, so was I when revisiting my own. Things came into clearer focus. From the friends I’ve had over the years to so many memorable family experiences to my career choice as an educator and the many cherished memories as a result -- all led to smiles and tears.

So did things I’ve done that I’m not so proud of. Taking an honest assessment of some missed opportunities to be kind to others, poor decisions that have hurt others, being guilty of taking so much for granted…have brought such things to the forefront of my current consciousness. As cliché as it has become to say how important it is to live in the present, I’m a firm believer that much can be learned from glancing (not dwelling) at our past from time to time.

As for the visit from my “ghost of Christmas present,” I’m not sure I have “slept-walked” through a day over these past several months. If it makes sense, I feel more alive than ever. I have become more sensitive to the kind actions and words of others and make more of an effort now to be kind to others more often. It’s not all roses as I do have brief moments of feeling down in the dumps, anger on those days when not feeling well…but I am much more equipped now to refocus quickly and not allow entire days to go by in a negative way.

As Scrooge’s present spirit took him on a tour of his nephew’s house and to the family home of his grossly underpaid and neglected clerk, Bob Cratchit, the miser continued to see more clearly what is most important to a joyful, fulfilling life. Meaningful relationships with family and friends far outweigh the accumulation of wealth (especially at the expense of others) and keeping others shut out when it comes to true happiness. Witnessing the laughter, smiles and pleasure of people truly enjoying one another’s company led to creating even bigger cracks in the emotional armor Scrooge had surrounded himself with for so many years.

By the time for Scrooge to be paid a visit from his final visitor, the ghost of Christmas yet to come, he was well on his way to becoming a changed man. He realized he was capable of change…that it wasn’t too late. When given a preview of his own death where no one really seemed to care and others were overheard that they would attend his funeral only if there might be lunch, Scrooge heard a voice in his head. It let him know that even though death is immutable, that generous and well-loved people are remembered after they are gone, that their good deeds continue to live on.

As Scrooge said in the Disney version (starring the voice of Jim Carrey) when he neared the end of his visits by the three spirits, he bargained with his ghost of Christmas future by saying – “I will allow the spirit of Christmas into my heart and shall keep it there all year.”

The old codger had come to realize that joyfully helping/giving to others and establishing/nurturing relationships are really what make life worth living – not just at Christmas, but throughout the ENTIRE year.

I think a lot - now more than ever before – about the time I have left. The harsh reality is that I don’t know how long that might be. Coming to grips with my own mortality has impacted my current life considerably. Like Scrooge at the end of A Christmas Carol, I feel positively transformed as a result of my adversity. Here’s hoping this Christmas can be full of time with “family” (blood and otherwise), a time for goodwill to others and a true sense of compassion for others and their struggles.

As Scrooge wisely stated, just before returning to his present after spending time with his spirit from Christmas future, “I will not shut out the lessons of the past, nor present, nor future.” That sounds like a good idea to me. Complete with its messages of the importance of hope/faith and helping/giving to others, it’s no wonder that Dickens’ mid-19th century classic has remained timeless.

Let’s hope it stays that way.