February 28, 2023 at 1:00 p.m.
Fresh from the Farm: Taking a Gander at Geese
In a fleeting moment I thought it would be really cool to get geese again. I'm grateful that thought was short lived.
Several years ago, when all of the children were still home, I decided that we needed a pair of geese. I mean, what farm is complete without geese? The answer to that question, as I now know, is a SANE farm is complete without geese.
So, in one of those not so sane moments, I made my way to the sale barn and bought a pair of Toulouse geese. I was so proud of my purchase. And so excited to add these birds to my little menagerie. Hindsight being 20/20 I should have left them at the sale barn!
I decided that since they were weed eaters, I would let them run loose in the yard. Not a wise choice. I moved them to the chicken lot. Again, should have moved them back to the sale barn.
I truly believe that those two geese were the spawn of Satan and sent here to terrorize the inhabitants of this otherwise peaceful little farm. They even managed to enlist one of those inhabitants into their evil training program.
So, I decided that back to the sale barn they would go. The evening before, I prepared two boxes, one for each goose so that they couldn't plan an attack against me on the drive to the sale barn. I told my two boys, Anthony and Brandon, that we would be getting up early to catch the two demons and send them on their way.
Morning came. It had rained so I put my boots on. I got a garden hoe from the shed with the idea that I would gently grab them like a shepherd uses a shepherd’s hook. I should have used a hatchet!
The boys stood on the outside of the pen as I entered, hoe in hand. As I gently (yes, gently. As evil as they were, I had no desire to actually harm them. At least not at first.) I "hooked" the first bird. Things were looking to be easy until the searing pain started in my leg. That's where the other goose grabbed me and wouldn't let go. I started kicking to get him off me. That's when my boot flew over the fence. (Remember the rain...the stuff that creates mud!) Finally got the goose off my leg and managed to grab the other with my hand. I looked to find my boys standing outside the pen laughing hysterically. One boot and one socked foot I got that goose in his box, no thanks to my boys, and went back after the other. Got him and into his box. Since everyone was too afraid to go into the chicken pen, I went to check their water and gather the eggs. As I am rounding the corner to the door their evil protege' (a.k.a. the rooster) came at me full force. I managed to catch him by the neck while he was in flight. I decided that he was getting a box too and he could go with the other two demons.
Since I was still in one boot and one sock and covered in mud, I decided that a shower was in order before I made the trip to the sale barn. After the 40-mile trip there, I unloaded the unholy ones and set them with the other birds to sell. All were able to get their heads out of the box. I watched an elderly gentleman smile at one and reached to pet it. He was promptly bitten on the hand. They still managed to sell to my surprise. I figured I would have to pay someone to take all three of those Satan’s children.
At the end of the day, I was out a sock, a boot, $25 in gas, most of my day and the cost of a bottle of Tylenol. But getting rid of those things was priceless!
So, with this memory in mind, my brief thoughts of obtaining more geese are put to rest. I'll just mow the weeds. Well, my husband will. And I can peacefully walk to my barn without the worry of being chased, bitten or losing a boot.
Blessings to you all!
