Melissa Coles' Abortion Story Inspires, Gives Others Hope

Facing an unwanted pregnancy is a difficult situation for anyone and when Hope resident Melissa Coles was 18 years old, she found herself in an unplanned pregnancy. Now, more than 20 years later, Coles is sharing her story – one of fear and uncertainty that made way for something quite beautiful.

When she found out she was pregnant, Coles says her immediate thoughts went to abortion. At the time, it seemed like the only option because back then women either had and parented their child or had an abortion.

Unfortunately, Coles believed abortion was her only option.

Told by her partner at the time that terminating the pregnancy would “solve all their problems,” he drove Coles to an abortion clinic on 38th Street in Indianapolis.

“Because no one would know us there,” she says.

Back then, women who arrived at the clinic were met by ‘advocates’ who would usher them inside away from the chaos and protests outside the facility that were a regular occurrence.

“Things have changed a lot with the sidewalk advocates,” Coles says. “Most of them are not as aggressive as they were back then.”

Flanked by a clinician on either side, with a blanket over her head and radios to her ears to drown out the profanities and shouting, Coles was briskly taken inside.

However, their efforts weren’t enough to drown out one protestor who screamed at Coles something that haunts her to this day.

“[They] screamed above and beyond everything saying, ‘Your baby has 10 fingers and 10 toes and you’re about to kill it!’” Coles recalls. “For some reason, that stuck with me and is still right there close to my mind and heart every day.”

Coles tried to look up from the blanket, but the people from the clinic pushed her head back down. At the time, she thought they were trying to protect her.

“I wouldn’t know until two years later that it was to protect them,” Coles says. “They get your money; they get your baby. They get everything.”

Once inside, Coles filled out what amounted to less than two pages of personal information.

“I can’t remember if I even showed them my ID or not,” she says.

To this day Coles remembers how cold it was in the clinic. She says as they took her back to an examination room, she walked past several young ladies who were pale in pallor with their heads down.

It was cold, ominous and evil, Coles says. Once in the exam room, it didn’t get better.

“The nurse looks at me and says, ‘Take this pill,’” Coles says. “She hands me a little white cup with a blue pill in it. ‘Put this gown on,’ she says, ‘and put your feet in the stirrups.’”

Raised to respect others, Coles simply answered, “Yes, ma’am.”

Coles did as she was told. As she was lying on the table Cole took notice of a metallic table with a tray full of instruments similar to what one would find in a dentist office.

“I’m thinking, ‘Are they going to use that stuff on me?’” Coles recalls. “I don’t know what any of it is. I lie back down and I keep hearing ’10 fingers… 10 toes…” over and over and as my head falls to the right I can see my reflection in the cart.”

Then Coles heard a voice. Audible. Like it was beside her. Around her.

“Get up! Get up… It is not too late…”

The voice wasn’t angry. It was pleading.

A matter of seconds later the abortionist came in the room.

“He comes over, washes his hands, puts his gloves on and sits on that little, tiny, silver stool, slides over to me and grabs something off the tray,” Coles says. “As soon as his hand brushed against my left leg, I sat up and said, ‘I can’t do this.’”

Without a word, the doctor stood up, ripped off his gloves and never once turned to look at Coles. Instead, he left the room. No one else came in.

Coles got dressed, gathered her things and found the nearest exit still pregnant.

To this day she still has no clue what that little blue pill was. Or why the doctor was so angry.

“It was very scary,” Coles says. “There was no weight lifted. I didn’t know what I was going to do.”

People tend to laugh – maybe even a bit uncomfortably – when Coles says she was soon after blessed with a UTI. The infection was so severe it landed her in the ER.

It was there she met an angel.

“It was actually what got me connected with a social worker,” Coles says. “I said, ‘So, if I tell you something you can’t repeat it, right?’ and she answered, ‘Yes, 100 percent. It has to stay with me.’”

Coles told her everything.

However, when the social worker suggested adoption Coles was aghast.

“I looked at her and said, ‘Give my baby away? To someone I don’t know? Not knowing where they are, if they are OK or what kind of life they will have?’”

“’Think about where you just were,’ she said, ‘Think about where you were just at – that is certain death. Think of the life you can give to this child and the parents who are already moms and dads, they just don’t have their kids yet,’” Coles says.

Though it seemed unimaginable, Coles asked for some time to think about it.

The social worker would eventually put Coles in touch with Kirch & Kirch, P.C. – a law office specializing in adoptions based in Indianapolis.

“They got ahold of me and stayed with me from that moment to today,” Coles says. “They still support me.”

Having kept the entire pregnancy hidden from her family, Coles gave birth to a son on December 22nd. She attended family holiday gatherings on December 24th and 25th and none was the wiser.

When it came to the adoption, Coles was presented with two choices. She could either receive a letter and picture each and every month for one year or she could continue that correspondence for the duration until her son turned 18 years old.

Coles opted for a single year.

“I felt like I would never be able to get on with my life and they couldn’t get on with theirs if they felt like they were reporting every month,” Coles says. “So, every month I got my pictures and a letter, and I got to see what kind of life he was having. It was very beautiful.”

Her son was named David by his adoptive family. Coles says she felt he was their son, and they had a right to name him.

However, the now 48-year-old Hope resident says handing over a child is the “most unnatural thing in the world.”

Coles readily admits for nearly 20 years she was very angry, bitter, jealous – nearly every negative emotion one would feel given the circumstances.

“Anyone who says adoption is the better option is correct,” Coles says. “But if they say it is an easy option, that is not true. When you carry a child and you give birth to that child, your instinct is to grab ahold of that child and never let go.”

Nineteen years later, Coles reunion with her son, David, was memorialized in a 30-minute documentary called “I Lived on Parker Avenue.”

As Coles, to this day, so eloquently puts it, you have to watch the documentary to truly appreciate the raw emotion felt by all parties – Coles, her son and his adoptive family.

Coles remembers pacing her living room floor waiting for them to pull into the driveway.

“When they arrived, I raced out as quick as I could and gave him a big hug,” Coles says. “Then his mom pulled us apart and gave me a big hug, too. I was really beautiful. I love her to death; she’s a wonderful woman.”

The mother/son relationship is congenial, civil. But it is clear that Coles wants more from the relationship than does her recently married 28-year-old son. And that is OK, she says.

“It has been healing for me all the way around, but it isn’t perfect,” she says. “I still have moments of insecurity. I still have a void. If you have a child that is no longer with you for whatever reason, you ‘ve got a missing void that never goes away. It isn’t perfect, but it is healing to know he has had such a wonderful life.”

Coles is 100 percent confident she made the right choice.

And it is a story she has strived to share with other women who find themselves in a similar situation.

It wasn’t until she met and married her husband, Shawn, 16 years ago that Coles knew she had to come to terms with telling her family, so she could begin to heal. And, as Coles says, once her son came for that first meeting there was no hiding anymore.

The experience has strengthened her faith, Coles adds. And it is from that strength that she finds the ways and means to speak publicly about her story.

Last year, her story – based, in part, on “I Live on Parker Avenue” – was made into a movie called “Lifemark,” directed by Kevin Peeples and staring Kirk Cameron.

“It is really kind of funny, when the documentary came out, something in my gut told me to send it to Kirk Cameron,” Coles recalls. “I wasn’t looking for a movie to be made, it never crossed my mind.”

Understanding adoption was something close to Cameron’s heart, Coles says she reached out hoping it might help expand her speaking platform. Having Cameron’s support would help get the word out.

Turns out it wasn’t even the link to the documentary that Coles sent Cameron that got his attention. It was a friend of his who showed it to him.

When Peeples and Cameron initially approached Coles about the movie she unequivocally said, “No.” Full stop.

But as they persisted and assured Coles of their intention to help her grow her outreach, not to stifle it, she was onboard.

“’We want to do justice for this story and reach more people,’ they said,’” Coles says. “That is exactly what they did. They’ve kept every promise. When you are on film with them it is completely faith-based and comfortable. The Holy Spirit is so strong. You don’t want to leave.”

Since the movie’s release, Coles’ life has amplified.

The recent Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe v. Wade has further amplified Coles’ already energized platform.

“A lot of people were so happy it was overturned,” she says. “I know that this fight is just starting. And now, the pregnancy centers need more help than ever. If we can eventually make abortion unthinkable, the pregnancy centers will need more help than what they’re asking for now. They have so many needs and that is close to my heart.”

Currently, Coles is delving into the world of writing with a children’s book on the way, as well as speaking engagements with Ambassador, a company that works with inspirational Christian speakers, across the United States.

Coles says she hopes more people check out the documentary and “Lifemark” film, so “they can see how beautiful one decision can be for an entire world.”

“Each child is an entire generation,” Coles says. “My goal is that when people see them, they choose life. Every life is important, valuable, and has a purpose.”