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When we have shared experiences, we often take sides. Consider a wedding. Sure, we’ve got two people making a lifetime commitment, but right from the get-go we have the bride’s side and the groom’s side … and maybe a whisper or two. More importantly though, two individuals are standing side by side.

We don’t always whisper when we take sides. Choosing generally involves a lot of emotion and a loud voice. We learned to shout, “Red Rover, Red Rover, send Johnny on over” to our side. That same energy is showered on our team of choice. Go, Boilermakers. Go, Sycamores! Come on, IU! Whether we’re Dogs or Jets or Olympians, we’ve got the spirit, and it’s deafening!

Occasionally body language silently roars when we stand in support of community and family. Dad winks when Susie sinks a free throw. A smile erases wrinkles after Grandma hears Henry read. A soldier tears up during the Veteran’s Day ceremony. Even a glare signals support. Yes, Julie cares enough to glare at me.

Let’s face it. There is definitely a cost to taking sides. Long ago shrewd entrepreneurs saw dollar signs in our inability to remain neutral. A Thor hammer was a must-have for Viking carpenters. Richard-the-Lionheart daggers sold like funnel cakes, and any sailor worth his salt carried a genuine Herman Melville harpoon. Truthfully, we still pay hefty prices to show which side we’re on.

Belonging to a community involves caring about what we have in common. Heritage Days. Fourth of July. Ethnic Expo. Family events. The list goes on and on with activities and causes we make commitments to, sometimes lifetime commitments. Any good businessman knows from history that we’ll invest in apparel and accessories to show where we stand.

Occasionally it’s refreshing to have a shared event that doesn’t involve the stress of taking sides. The total eclipse is one that comes to mind even if it wasn’t necessarily cost-free. My house still has a t-shirt or two and a few of the solar glasses that weren’t sent to South America, but for me the event was absent of rivalry.

I didn’t hear anyone say, “Sure it was amazing, but the one we had here three hundred years or so ago was better.” The temperature dropped. Birds sang evening songs. Frog ponds were noisy, and somewhere a rooster must have crowed. Body language spoke volumes, and awe was in the air.

And, unbelievably, there were weddings. The challenge of finding Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” was answered. I’m not sure how the pictures turned out, but apparently the ceremonies were great.

My wife mentioned that a lot of us started our marriages in the dark, but only a few are willing to admit it straight up. Then this past month some romantic souls intentionally exchanged vows in the dark. Can you imagine getting married during a total eclipse? Even if love is blind, I’d like a moment of clarity to see who’s kissing me.

The eclipse was a unique, shared experience in that individuals weren’t taking sides. It drew people together instead of drawing a line between them. For a few minutes, being in the dark was wonderful!