April 4, 2018 at 5:30 p.m.

Ashlyn Martin: Learning how pain molds our lives


By By Ashlyn Martin-

The moment I realized I had the same opportunity that I had last year - writing articles for HSJ Online - I realized that I wanted to write something special again.

I wanted to create something even better than my last little collection of words about my own experiences.

Hours of sitting down and pondering over what in the world I would write flew past. The first thing that came to mind was this: I wanted to write something for everyone. Words are for everyone, and so I knew that I had to do something that people could relate to, because words have that magic power of connecting people. I also made the realization that I had to write something emotional. The words always come to me when I'm writing something with feeling.

It was in that moment that I figured out what I wanted to do. Most people have heard that term "Words for the Wise." Well, I don't want to write words for the wise. Sometimes, the wise are the last ones to need words to hear. Typically, the wise know what they are doing.

Instead, I want to write words to others. I want to write words for the people that may need to hear them, but don't know that they do. I want to write words to the hurt, the worried, the upset, but also words for the happy, the loved, and everyone in between. That is what I am striving to do for this span of articles.

I want to write words for you, and for all of the people that need them. That is exactly what I will do, and I will hope that you read them and that they will make you feel something.

It seems that in today's world, there are so many people who are hurting. That's where I'll start.

Words for the Hurt:

Here is the bold, constant truth: life hurts. You will feel pain millions of times across the entire expanse of your life. Sometimes it will hurt less. It may only take you a few moments to push it behind into the past and let it go.

Other times, it will hurt so much. It could be physical hurt, from an illness or injury. It could be a hurt that is emotionally inflicted by someone or something, the kind of pain you cannot see from the outside. I can guarantee that everyone at some point has felt pain of any of those kinds.

But what if pain could be beautiful?

Think about it for a second. Could pain be beautiful?

Ask yourself another question: would you be the same being that you are without the hurt you have suffered through? It's very unlikely.

The pain in our lives turns us into the people we are just as much as the happiness does. Hurt makes us stronger and makes us empathetic to other people. Pain makes us thankful for the happy moments we do get to have. It makes us grow beyond what we could ever imagine.

Now, I'm not saying that pain won't hurt, or that it won't be hard. I'm not telling you that you need to love your pain. I sure don't love mine all the time. I simply want you to look at it and tell yourself "this will make me grow" or "this is one more step to being the me I am meant to be." Look at your pain as a part of what makes you who you are.

And maybe, just maybe, if you can think like that, you can also be proud of your struggles for molding you.

So, can pain be beautiful?

Because behind every beautiful thing, there is always pain, and if life isn't a beautiful thing, then I'm not sure what it is.

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HOPE